my birthday present

my birthday present
My awesome birthday present 1/26/11 (see story under my first post)

Saturday, February 23, 2013


I found this in my drafts, of potential posts. I wrote it a couple of years ago and did not have the courage to post it at the time. It is not like I have gained courage, more like I have gained a separation from what I was feeling at the time. 

Plus, I recently listened to an amazing Ted Talk by Brene Brown who has written a book on vulnerability. Click here to see that talk. Brene Brown Ted Talk   She suggests that in order to live wholeheartedly, we must take risks.  

Krista Tippet has interviewed her on her radio show On Being. Go here and click on a link under "Listen" on the left side to hear the produced show or the original uncut version.   On Being Brene Brown

If you still want more, Tammi Simon interviewed her on Sounds True podcasts. Search for Brown here Sounds True free pocasts

 I  am generally annoyed by poems that rhyme because to me, they seem to sound forced, as I think this one does. But this is what came out. And this is what I felt. And I think  sometimes that is all a poem has to be. So I am posting this for those of you who have written something and would like a safe place to share. If anyone cares to share a poem, whether you feel it is still gestating or complete, send me an email, I'd  love to post it. 

Trite Cliches for a Weary Soul

I can no longer bear the small talk
                thoughts unspoken, words unsaid
Feelings pushed below the surface
                won’t stop swirling in my head.

I miss connecting, feeling cared for
                miss the laughter and your touch
I’m sick of hiding and pretending
                sick of missing so damn much.

I’m losing touch and sight and sound
               losing strength and self and ground
I’m tired fighting, tired hurting
                tired waiting to rebound.

I feel exhausted, worn, and wasted
                feel I’ll never be the same
I feel alone, no one to talk to
                feel defeated by this game.

I’m so scared about the future
                don't want to go it all alone
So many plans I thought might happen
                vanish now where light once shone.

I’m broken open, left so empty
                find it hard from day to day
To understand why I can’t shake it
                make the sadness go away.

The sages say  it doesn’t matter
                life’s uncertain and decays
What’s important isn’t lasting
                can’t be held or forced to stay.

Yet I’m  grateful love once found me
                touched my soul, my eyes, my ears
Like the beauty of a snowflake
                falling, melting, disappears.

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